Reptile

[on] dirty darth vadar.

2009-12-30T04:15:26Z

I have a trial 3 day Canoe trip on the Whanganui River on the third of January. Heading over early to shmooze my way into working there constantly for the next two months before University starts. I can't wait.

My life, attitude, outlook on life and general well being has improved drastically over the past coupld of days. I feel so positive about life it's actually a little scary. I hope to keep this up for the rest of my life.

On another note.... this is fantastic.

Our Christmas presents arrived from threadless yesterday too! So happy with the sizes and the designs we chose. Absolutely love it!! Definitely recommend them to anyone, and shipping is pretty sweet too! Only took three weeks at xmas time to get here which is super!

So all in all.... life is good.

[on] Avatar

2009-12-20T09:14:02Z

So I took Joe to see Avatar as part of his Christmas present (the other being some t-shirts purchased online) and all I have to say is....

It's the most beautiful movie.

There were parts during which I had to remind myself that this was a created world. I feel silly for wishing it, but my god I would give anything to visit a place like Pandora.

I'm pretty impressed, and so was Joe. We are thinking it'd be worth driving the 4 hours to Wellington just to go see it again, 3D and on a huge screen.

Impressed in an understatement.

If you haven't seen it yet, please make it part of your Christmas 'to do' list. It'simply a stunning movie.

[on] a new country.

2009-11-07T21:06:49Z

So... yeah, I'm in New Zealand.

[on] new awesomeness.

2009-07-03T13:36:56Z

I have had... such an amazing roller-coaster of a month. I love working for Mountain Designs so much. I still can't quiet believe that I did my job. I got my little store out of the red. The whole reason I was given that store to manage was to recover loss. And I did.... we went from being well and truly in the red, into black. I effectively have a clean slate for this new financial year.

So there is that, but there is also helping setting up the new Logan Mega Store and becoming fast friends with it's new manager Joe. To the point where we started house hunting together. And... we got the first house we applied for. There's so much I could say about how much I am looking forward to the next few months.

New home, that's right - home - not house. The annual Mountain Designs conference. New goals and targets.

I am happy.

[on] lol, wut?

2009-04-21T01:12:20Z

I fly to Los Angeles tomorrow. And from there to Los Vegas for a WoW convention.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

my life amuses me.

Presents To Me! From...

2009-02-14T12:29:09Z

Me!!!

So I'm about to have a birthday, and I have treated myself already.

I've lashed out a little, I must confess, but boy oh boy - am I excited!!

First thing I got, were concert tickets. Tickets to see my all time favorite band - Nine Inch Nails. But! I got two tickets! So that Erin could come with me!! She's flying up this thursday. I am ecstatic!

Next I found an incredibly adorable dress to wear on the night of my actual birthday. I ended up putting it on lay-by, and I got a bonus form work last week. So I ended up also getting a pair of shoes too when I paid off the lay-by.

I got this hoody a few weeks back.

And then found matching shorts. How could I resist? ^_^

And! A dvd (Pineapple Express) to watch with Erin, and probably Dani too.

[on] sadness of a different kind.

2009-01-14T13:49:18Z

A Kayaker died on the Franklin River earlier this week.

He was 23.

I miss that river, I miss that state, and my heart goes out to the other kayakers who were paddling with him - as well as to his family.

I'm always amazed that places of such serene yet powerful beauty can be a cause of loss.

A river will always out live us.

[on] bitterness.

2008-12-01T14:36:35Z

I'm so up and down at the moment, it really is annoying.

But I am really feeling bitter, and unhappy.

Fuck everything to hell.

[on] resurrections.

2008-11-25T13:27:39Z

Well.. despite the epic shit fest that has been my life for the past few weeks, a couple of good things have occurred. I've relaxed after feeling so damn frustrated after my room flooded last week during the storms. Any little thing my housemates did would set me off like crazy.

I've felt a vast, uncontrollable rage swelling up inside me. Although it's toned down a little... I can still feel it.

*queue nerd*

Another amusing thing is that I have renewed my World of Warcraft subscription. I point blank refuse to play on Zul'jin any more, although I could quiet easily play there on Thi's account... I just freaking don't want to. So, I'm back to my Blood Elf mage - although this time, she's no longer on Ravenholdt. I transfered her a few months ago to Turalyon - change of name and all. It's quiet nice to feel free.

What's really fucking amusing, is that I am *loving* leveling. When I think back to the days of leveling up Azumi and Proxy... agh!! It was HORRID. I could never have done it without the help of Beau and Bryndel. But! New server.. those two aren't around anymore, which means little ol' Zoomi gets to do it herself.

Aaaand It'sss aaactually fuuun fooor oonnceee!! *happy dance*

The new zones look amazing, the quests are more interesting, and I'm really enjoying following plot lines!

*end nerd*

Work is... well, work. I love working for Mountain Designs, but honest to god, some of the back ground politics can get really frustrating. Either way... I'm certain I will be settling in to living in Queensland for a bit of a long haul. Two years? Maybe? Before I have to go back to guiding that is.

Hopefully my next lot of leave, I'll actually hit the USA or UK up for a holiday. Can't wait!

Also can't wait to see my Air over New Years.

^.^

[on] going back to the place where you don't belong.

2008-11-16T09:15:20Z

I'm back there again. Back to that pit. Back to being someone I am not, and never being able to speak. I have no name for what I become. What I am.

But it's been a while since I have been in this place... this blinding dark hole. Everything around me moves so slowly, yet my mind is racing out of my control.

I hate being this fucked up.

I've no way out any more.

[on] being... retarded.

2008-11-14T07:15:11Z

You know... after working in the guiding industry for so long, sometimes I surprise even myself at how... fucking stupid I am.

You'd think... that knowing you are going to be working in the sun all day, you would more than liberally apply the sunscreen.

But no.

Today, I did not.

Today! I fail!!

I'm so red right now, I think my arms are going to melt of the heat they are generating. My legs too.

*fails!!*

[on] being grumpy.

2008-11-13T09:20:59Z

At the moment I am finding life very monotonous, and fucking annoying. I want to be doing things in my spare time that I have not got anyone to do with. My social net-work of friends is non-existent and it pisses me off.

I'm grumpy, tired and want people to just simply chill and drink with.

I wish to create a machine that will bring all my friends from Tassie up here in an instant. It will pause time, so that we can have as much fun as we want, but I can still go to work and earn a living.

Sounds like a plan to me.

[on] changes.

2008-10-24T05:39:15Z

I has new hair!

[on] promotions.

2008-10-22T08:39:26Z

So all of you should know by now that I've been working at Mountain Designs for around 7 months now. I've gone from casual, to full-time, to manager-in-training.

Well. I've been promoted to Manager.

I'm now running the Brisbane city store, which is more of less a 3 min walk away from the Queen St. Mall. The promotion was a result of a few things; my performance in the Fortitude Valley store - mainly running everything when the Manager was away, sales figures, and dealing with staff. It was also because the Brisbane city store has been running in the red, and because of my knee.

The Fortitude Valley store is the major store of Australia. There are a lot of expectations on all staff members there - there is millions of dollars worth of stock, and all of it needs to be looked after before it makes its merry way into someone's life. It is massive.

So, I've been working there since I hurt my knee - which meant that I was going backwards and forwards between the office and the front on crutches. It's hindered my knee something shocking. By about 2 pm every day, guaranteed, I would be in severe amounts of pain.

The Brisbane city store is... It's less than a third of the size of the front section of the Valley store. I love it. We've got a great assortment of stock, and although it's very cramped, it looks awesome. I don't have to hobble my ass around on crutches.

Today I was able to go the whole day without them (although I am feeling it now to be honest), but the size of the store and the level of activity more or less means that I get to nail down management skills that I was only able to brush over in the Valley store.

I've got the much awaited challenge of turning figures around, and making the store become the best it possibly can be. I get to recruit, run and play around as much as I want with-in the companies regulations (of course).

I'm stoked.

So! In less than 7 months of employment with MD - I'm pretty amazed I've come so far, learned so much, and still enjoy each day at work.

[on] misery in a fortnight.

2008-10-20T21:44:19Z

Knee hurts. Teeth hurt. I suspect I may need to get my wisdom teeth out rather soon. On the plus side though, I think I may get to have that surgery, rather than an op on my knee. Though... teeth will be far more expensive.

Despite such a shit week.

Impending promotion ftw.

[on] old injuries re-born.

2008-10-16T03:45:12Z

Around three years ago I hurt my left knee playing soccer. I believe it was simply a case of straining my meniscus and I had the long task of regaining strength of the muscles and tendons surrounding it. The injury meant that I couldn't train as much in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, nor do any of the hikes during my Tafe course. This injury led me to my love for rivers and rapids.

Eventually though, my knee got to the stage where I had enough strength in the joint to do all the things I wanted to do - but I never fully pushed getting it to be as strong as it possibly could become. Since I have been living in Brisbane, it hasn't been troubling me any more than normal. Lots of crepitus when I walked up stairs, but that was it. In the past two month though, I have been training at a gym with my housemates. I could feel a little bit of strain and discomfort doing basic things in the gym, so decided to get a Personal Trainer to help find things that I could and couldn't do.

First thing my trainer got me to do was burpies; which is a cardiovascular endurance routine. Basically, you start with your feet together and then crouch down and place your hands on the ground about shoulder width apart. Once there, you kick your legs back out behind you so it looks like you are about to do a push up, then bring them back forward to your starting position, stand and jump.

That's one burpie.

At 6 I felt my left knee twinge quiet painfully, but me being me... I pushed myself to ten. My PT then got me to run down one end of the gym, and then sprint back to her. Half way through the sprint I went A over T in the middle of the gym and ended up in a ball holding my knee. Gave myself quiet a nice carpet burn, and... completely stuffed my knee.

That was on monday. I had to work yesterday... and more or less pushed paper in the office for eight hours. Today I was able to see a physiotherapist thanks to a funds push by Phil.

My knee was too painful to get the full series of tests done, but I have basically done one of two things. Damaged my meniscus again, or, torn a lot of ligaments.

If it's the former - I should be able to regain strength through series of stretches and soft work outs. If it's the latter however, I am most likely going to need surgery.

I have a feeling it's going to be the latter due to the amount of loose cartilage I already have floating around on the inside of my knee. But I can neither afford the surgery, or the time off work.

I'm pretty darn distraught at this all. I was so freaking keen on getting back into training in a gym, and also back into BJJ. Now I can't do either.. potentially for a long time too. Work is going to be an absolute bitch. I'm a manager in training in an outdoors gears and equipment store...

"Hi, I'd like to look at some shoes."

"Sure thing, it'll be about 10 minuets though, while I hoble down to get them and bring them back. Oh, and I'm not going to kneel down and measure your foot or anything."

"I'd like to have a look at packs please."

"No worries! Here they are over here... help yourself. I'm going to be in the office."

I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks.

I freaking hope I can at least walk without crutches by the time my friend Air comes up from Tassie though. My house mates birthday is on Halloween and I have the most awesome outfit already for it... and I doubt I am going to be able to wear the shoes, or walk up the stairs or do anything!! Let alone chilling with Air around the city, or southbank or driving to byron or ANYTHING.

*bonks head on desk*

[on] Loving Tasmania.

2008-10-15T01:38:13Z

Giant gum in record books
Article from: The Mercury

DAMIEN BROWN
October 10, 2008 12:00am

THE world's second tallest tree has been found by Tasmanian foresters less than 5km from a popular tourist attraction.

Standing about the same height as a pair of Wrest Point Casino towers stacked on top of each other, the 101m giant swamp gum is second only to a 115m redwood in the Redwood National Park in California.

The Tasmanian tree, estimated to be about 400 years old, has been aptly named Centurion which is a Roman officer in charge of 100 soldiers.

Centurion will also go into the record books as the tallest hardwood tree in the world, the tallest eucalypt in the world and the tallest flowering tree in the world.

Forestry Tasmania field officers found the tree this week near the Tahune Airwalk tourist attraction near Geeveston, south of Hobart.

It was also discovered that at some stage in its life it has snapped off, re-sprouting a new healthy crown, meaning it would have been even bigger.

During its life it has also survived fires that destroyed much of the Arve Valley.

Centurion was not previously in a reserve, but has been protected under Forestry Tasmania's giant tree policy.

Standing next to it is an equally breathtaking 86.5m gum that has been named Triarus – Latin for a veteran soldier.

Forestry Tasmania plans to make Centurion accessible to the public, with a boardwalk and other facilities on the drawing board.

Forestry Tasmania resource information manager David Mannes found the trees with resource officer Mayo Kajitani using airborne laser scanning.

Laser signals reflected off the canopy showed it was at least 99m. Ground inspections and laser measurements then confirmed the 101m height.

Mr Mannes said it might not be the last giant found with the laser.

"It is hard to believe they have been here so long without us even knowing they are here," Mr Mannes said.

"Considering the other tall trees around the state, this one is in very good condition."

[on] pleasant surprises.

2008-10-06T11:29:00Z

I'm more than 10 kilograms lighter than I thought I was.

Go me!! It's the first time I've gone 'wow' at my weight, and been really, really pleased. At my heaviest stage I weighed in at 92 kg. I'm currently 72 kg.... which more or less means that I can get to my ideal weight with no where near the amount of work I had initially thought I would need to put in.

Sure, I'm still going to work my hardest - but it now means that not only am I already happy with how I am at the moment physically, I can work on improving what I have already.

My cardio is shit, and I could easily loose about 7kg or more of excess weight/body fat.

I've now gone more than 30 hours with out having a cigarette.

I have more energy; so I guess my iron tablets are working.

I no longer have bronchitis.

But! I'm more chronically depressed at the moment than I have been in months. Go figure.

[on] conversations.

2008-09-24T12:07:54Z

Brisbane strikes me sometimes, as a very strange city. Similar to Hobart, it has certain areas that are only frequented by certain stereotypes of people. It's pretty interesting to observe.

Today, I had to call in sick to work. I was able to get in to see my doctor in the early afternoon and walked out with two prescriptions for Bronchitis and the name of an iron tablet I need. I'm apparently very, very anemic.

The normal iron level for females is above 50 ug/L, and I currently have 10 ug/L which puts me below the "low" category (which is a range of 15-20 ug/L). So... not only am I coughing to the point of feeling like I am about to vomit, causing myself nosebleeds because of how often I have had to blow my fucking nose; But! BUT! I'm also nearly always having dizzy spells, heart palpitations, and I'm constantly feeling like I have no energy in my limbs and my vision falters giving me balance issues.

/sigh

Anyway... while I was waiting to catch a bus back home I had a very interesting / insulting conversation with a complete stranger. Here I am, leaning against a pole wearing tight blue jeans and a white tank top with my new hat on (foolishly smoking a cigarette) and I watch an old man carrying a bunch of window washing gear and equipment walk up right into my face and he says,

Old Man - "Don't ever get into window washing!"

I say nothing

Old Man - "It's a horrible job! A lot of work and everyone always complains at you!"

I finally have to acknowledge him because by now he's about a foot from my face.

Me - "I can imagine."

Old Man - "Especially those filthy lesbian types!"

I'm stunned, and just look at him with an expression of horror and disgust at what he has said. By the time I even recover enough to make a retort, the old fucker is back off walking up the road and I'm left to just shake my head in pure astonishment.

Apparently, I'm a filthy lesbian type.

[on] returning to what you've come to hate.

2008-09-22T08:03:29Z

I'm back in Brisbane and honestly I feel more miserable than ever. Traveling to Tasmania just made me realize how much I love that little island. My friends ... it's such a strange feeling to say that, and know with every fiber of my being that yes - I have friends. Erin, Dave, Rave, Adrian, Pat, Morgan, Tom... they are everything I could ever want and more.

So being back in the every sunny Queensland just makes me feel sick and alone. The next few months are going to be the hardest of my life. Adjusting to life without Aaron (which honestly, I am looking forward to), but the worst part is adjusting to not having my mates around me. The past 11 days have been some of the most fantastic I've ever had. I have so many photos to go through, but I am so scared I am going to break as soon as I start going through them on my computer.

I love them beyond words.

I didn't cry when I moved up here, but I cried at the airport today. They are all so fantastic. I haven't got a chance in hell of finding a group of friends like them up here, but ... I have to stay up here for at least another six months. Minimum. And they are going to be hard. Right now I am pretty sure I have bronchitis, and that on top of being very anemic means that Zoomi isn't a happy girl.

Time to peruse my memories.

[on] the lasting anger.

2008-09-02T08:11:45Z

I'm so angry. It's beginning to become a feeling that is felt far too fucking often. It wells up inside me, from my stomach up through my heart and it chokes me. It sits there like a dead weight, something immovable and vulgar. Ever preset and ever watchful... it will swell and diminish at the stupidest fucking things.

I'm so god damn fucking sick of being angry.

[on] betrayal.

2008-08-28T08:32:33Z

Tally is at 6.

Six people Aaron cheated on me with. Worst part is, I can name all of them.

I certainly can pick them can't I?

I don't even think I can say anything to fully explain the way I am feeling right now.

[on] too many feelings.

2008-08-26T00:50:20Z

My god... I hate this so much. I'm so sick of trying to keep my chin up, of trying to maintain so semblance "being okay".

I'm not okay. I never was. I've gotten rid of the one thing I needed to, and all that I can feel now is ... I don't even have the words.

I'm so spiritually and mentally dead at the moment it's causing physical pain.

I want to go home.

[on] looking out for me.

2008-08-23T11:58:56Z

Well. A part of me wonders where to begin.

Since my last few posts, I finally made the right decision for me. I got both Kelton and Aaron together and told them what I wanted. I was honest to the pair of them, and although I said a lot of shit Kelton didn't want to hear - Aaron once again showed me the side of himself that I fell in love with.

Part of the conversation also included telling Aaron that I wanted him to leave Brisbane as soon as he was able to. That I had had enough of keeping the edges raw. Although, once everything that I needed to say was said, I also had the opportunity to listen. Kelton has fallen in love with me - or so he claims. And Aaron also let me know that he was waiting for me to come to terms with our relationship before he left.

It's made me feel so at peace. Aaron and I went straight back to our old ways; chilling. Spending time together just having fun. Talking about anything and everything, and simply enjoying one an-others company. We got stupendously wasted and watched season two of Dexter every night this week, and although it *might* seem like a waste of time... it was purely a case of doing something together we both enjoy.

This whole... eh... I guess finality of it all has made me come to a few realizations about myself. I've also become very glad. So very, very glad that I had the opportunity to have Aaron in my life. He taught me a lot of things. Now that might come as a bit of a shock; I mean the bastard did fucking cheat on me. But he also helped me grow up, helped me figure out that I can't always keep giving up all my emotional energy keeping others afloat.

So I am thankful.

My one fear these past few weeks has been that I won't be able to get through this year without solid heartbreak. I did not want to look back and not be able to say it was a year well spent.

I'm beginning to believe that I can look back on this year and be happy.

I'm traveling back down to Tasmania for a short holiday next month. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends again. I miss everyone.

All in all...

It's been a fucking good week.

[on] lasting regrets.

2008-08-19T01:21:53Z

I should have gone.

But now there's nothing I can do.

I'm so fucking stupid.